my headshot experience
Some thoughts about confidence
and when you absolutely hate looking at photos of yourself.
Every year during the winter, once busy season has slowed down and I have time to think and be creative, I tend to get the urge to take some self-portraits. Updated headshots are always a good thing, plus putting myself in the position of my clients – in front of the camera – is a good reminder of what they go through, and how I’d want to be treated if being photographed.
Las year when I did this, I took over 700 photos of myself.
I only liked 2 of them.
Realizing this made me pause, and really reflect on why I only liked 2 photos out of 700. There’s a Reel about it here – but I want to add some more thoughts.
my biggest realization looking at it now is:
I was so hard on myself.
I’m 41 now instead of freshly 40. I’m 10 lbs heavier, my wrinkles and under-eye bags are more prominent, my knees hurt more often. I wish I looked now like I did then.
But – I’m also more comfortable in my body than I have been in years.
My wrinkles mean I’ve laughed, and sat basking in the sun. My squishy belly carried my children, and then didn’t go away because we went to Dairy Flo after the beach and got ice cream together.
I wouldn’t trade those memories away for a flat tummy and a number on the scale.
I’m still hard on myself.
I still hate being photographed.
But I’ll still do it again this year, and the next, and the next.
And I hope you will too.
Because here’s the thing.
You can plan for the perfect picture. You have the outfit, the lighting, the backdrop. The camera angle that makes your chin look smaller and the editing tools to take out your wrinkles. But to what end?
People see you every day. They see you when the angle is wrong. When the light gives you unflattering shadows. When you laugh with your children and you gain a chin or two, when you’re tired and there’s wrinkles under your eyes or you’re concerned and there’s a permanent furrow in your brow. They see you when you forget to suck in your tummy.
They see YOU. All the time.
And they love you. All of you. All the time.
it’s hard to look at our faces or our bodies the same way it’s hard to hear our voices recorded. But those faces, those bodies, those voices –
they are precious to someone else.
We have to trust that love.
We have to trust that we are worthy of it.
And we have to remember that others deserve to have memories of us that will not fade with time.
So be in the pictures. Do it for the ones that love you.
And try to let it lead to loving yourself.
